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Poems

Gaining Knowledge/Intellectual Pursuits

52. Write twenty new poems (20/20) (14th July 2010)

#1

05.02.08

I remember
letting go of your hand
was like choosing the narrower road at the crossway

I denied
every missed connection
was an abstraction of our differences

I reflect
that recollections of a happier past
were mere illusions fabricated in my mind

And yet
all feelings of consciousness
dissipate ..

as you go.

#2

07.02.08

Brushing her shoulders with another
Another savours her touch and his coffee,
Coffee emanating soothing aroma
“Once I’ve had a taste of it, there’s no going back”
James Morrison sets the scene

Strangers classically become lovers
Lovers consistently naive
Naiveté blinds him artlessly
“The strong will never fall”
Sade sets the scene

Three dates later she falls out of lust
Lust dispensed him, mind, body & soul, to her
Souls were supposed to be undying
“A little piece of you, the little piece of me, will die”
David Bowie sets the scene

A stench of drudgery and the noshery
The noshery discords her stately home
Home is where it all would unravel
“Land der Berge, Land am Strome, Land der Acker, Land der Dome”
Wolfgang Mozart sets the scene

She called him pie-eyed, he called her angry
Angry, foe of adulation
Adulation became a bloody curse
“Death call arises, a scream breaks the still of the night”
Iron Maiden sets the scene

His name was Robertson
Robertson turned twenty four
Twenty four bullets were found in his body
No lyrics
No music
Only the noise of bluecoats arriving at the scene

#3

15.03.08

My thoughts are often closest to him
aaaaaaaaaaIn that hushed silence
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHow far away the concepts of study seem

Walls environ us even in large spaces
aaaaaaaaaaAnd we turn into shadows
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaDancing, watched by no one

I have no need to be near to you
aaaaaaaaaaYet I distance the notion not to draw closer
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaTo he who entrances none but her

Time stops
aaaaaaaaaaThere in that stillness
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaIn one glance.

#4

07.05.08

Souvent je pense à toi
Beaucoup, trop beaucoup
Mais tu es juste un rêve

#5

26.06.09

I am reminded of a horrid feeling I once felt
Reminded of regrets I once denied I had
The burden of existence — being who I am, knowing what I know
If only I could erase my identity
Just for one day
Imagine how things would be easier ..
Starting afresh,
No expectations
No nothing
It would be great not being me for one day.

#6

29.06.09

Your disgusting smells linger
They are everywhere
Home does not smell like home anymore
Sex, sweat, guilt

Bloodied stains will not wash off
As much as you try
They mark the post like a date in history
Water, salt, wound

You are not who you once were
The King and Queen Bee
And what is done cannot be undone
Liars, hedonists, pubescents

You are not a victim
You are not a victim
You are not a victim

.. but you are scum.

#7

30.06.09

After all these years
I need distance to make my heart grow fonder
Reliving moments long passed
I dream that I am still young
Wishing to be anything else
I will defeat these destructive habits
It won’t be too late
‘Til I become someone you’re proud of.

#8

05.07.09

I can’t do this anymore
Do you
This artificial friendship
Where our needs differ
Can’t we find our own way ?

You hold onto anything
Fighting for a last word
But there is nothing to hold
Nothing to claim
I must weed you out.

My willingness to change
Your stubbornness not to
I must believe escape is possible
From this horrid burden
So why do I feel guilty when I know all we’re doing is harm ?

#9

20.08.09

A young girl
desperately wanting
stood close
looked up
and watched fanciful words
flow out from his angelic lips

Cultivated curiosity
he thought
she believed
and followed
as he led her by the hand
that she was his alone

A new toy
to be played with
they laugh
they cry
they move on
after dust has collected

She grows old
and he is different
the toy is broken
pieces left scattered

But after all
when he is gone
she does not mourn
because she knows what he is

Only human.

#10

19.10.2009

Forget me like I’ve never existed
Forget me like we never met
Forget me is the last step
To cure your mind that’s twisted.

#11

05.07.09 / 19.10.2009

I must write
1,000 words
Struggle
Tired
End.

I must sleep
4 hours
Turn
Toss
Lie.

I must eat
400 cals
Chew
Spit
Bin.

I must die
Again
Slash
Cut
.

#12

15.11.09

Day to night
Night to day
There’s no delight
In the game you play
The mask you wear
Is a facade
To hide the fact
There’s nothing there.

#13

25.02.10

Je te vois
À travers le judas
Mais je ne suis pas une raclure
On dit La Nuit
Et seulement les ténèbres me suivent
Je rêvais de votre monde de lumière
Au-delà de cette porte
Parce que ma coeur,
C’est là où vous êtes.

#14

26.02.10

I
love
your
smell
romance
cookbooks
piano hands
foreign accent
awkward laugh
boney shoulder
messy beanie hair
childish handwriting
intellectual curiousity
attempted art appreciation pose

&
the
way
you
exist.

#15

19.04.10

You’re the same
Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Sharp eyes.
Pretend smile.
You’ve got it together,
You’ve got it together,
You’ve got it together.

Transparent is your pride and false confidence.
Quick to anger, your grudges take hold of you.
You somehow forgot.
This is not who you wanted to be.
You’ve got it together,
You’ve got it together,
You’ve got it together.

Forgive yourself as I forgave you when we were young.

#16

22.05.10

Hear voices in my head telling me to turn back
See an empty bed craving the warmth of a body
Smell of a cold draft polluting my lungs
Taste bittersweet coffee that I once prepared for two
Touch is replaced with numbness.

#17

18.06.2010

Guilt.
Flow in.
Break me.
Apart.
No room for mercy.
No margin for error.
Leaves a trail of empty shells.

#18

14.07.2010

Everyday it grows longer and longer
Cross
tick,
scribble
The never-ending to-do list which is my life.

#19

14.07.2010

I imagine
standing in the midst of
black suits,
brief cases,
uniforms
marching one by one
Suddenly I am one of them
I want to scream
but no sound comes out
I have no more words
I have no more thoughts.

#20

14.07.2010

She pondered,
staring at the ceiling as she does every morning.
Pork roll ?
Fried egg ?
McMuffin ?

Here comes the most pressing question of the day:
What to eat for breakfast ?

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 28, 2010 8:55 am

    I love your poems.
    I’ve just started my project 365 and i am looking for blogging/Project 365 friends :-)

  2. mookxi permalink*
    March 3, 2010 10:48 am

    Thanks Lynn ! ;-) Seems to be a heap of people starting which is good ! Three years ago, no one had heard about this project so I’m glad interest has been growing. Good luck !

  3. jasmine permalink
    March 14, 2010 3:33 am

    #14: absolutely gorgeous in its simplicity,& the groovy pyramid shape

  4. jasmine permalink
    March 14, 2010 3:39 am

    melaustar!! i love #12 too, once again, cos of its simplicty.the last line is brilliant (“to hide the fact theres nothing there”).i think #12 is ur best poem yet.u should seriously enter it into a poetry competition, its beautiful.can u translate #4? & tell me what #6 about? rape?

  5. February 7, 2011 12:11 am

    #2 is very good, one would hope you don’t limit yourself to just 20 of these.

    • mookxi permalink*
      February 9, 2011 4:43 pm

      Thank you :-) Yes 20 was the inital goal (sometimes I need a push) but I would love to write more. I have a lot scribbled down here, there & everywhere and when I’m finally able to translate thoughts into words that make sense I will post more up ! :-D

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